That Annoying Chatterbox – Your Mind
Another day, another Ruby Spider in my garden. This daylily has a curious habit of opening only one bud per day. Perhaps the effort of unfurling the petals of one enormous flower is all the plant can manage. Or perhaps the dazzling beauty of one flower is enough. It’s enough for me. I’m tempted to count the buds still to open and light up my garden. But I don’t. I will enjoy the flower that is here now.
Your attention is like a combination spotlight and vacuum cleaner: it highlights what it lands on and then sucks it into your brain – for better or worse.
- Rick Hanson
The Buddhists call it “monkey mind” – the tendency of our minds to forever jump from here to there and back. Don’t get me wrong – I mean no disrespect here. Your mind is your best friend. Or at least it tries to be. Always on the lookout for problems to be solved or disasters to be avoided. Always scanning the horizon for opportunities. Always planning and strategizing. Some of the work it is doing is awesome; just look around you: the home wi-fi system you complain about would be the stuff of science fiction just a couple of decades ago. It is your (or somebody else’s) mind that will find cure for cancer or clean up the oceans. My adorable and annoying Monkey Mind is putting this blog together.
But there is a glitch: the programming of this internal Problem Solver/Past Dweller/Fortune Teller, often has a malfunctioning STOP button. The system keeps on running its programs whether you want it or not. You know the scenario – you go to bed exhausted at the end of a busy day hoping for a refreshing sleep. And suddenly, you are wide awake your mind racing frantically in all directions.
If it looks like an addiction to overthinking, it’s because in some way it is. The brain actually rewards us for worrying by producing dopamine – the feel good, but oh-so-addictive neurotransmitter. When you are stressed, (and who isn’t), worrying makes you feel better. You feel like you are actually doing something to solve the problem.
Lost in thought. That’s one way to put it. James Joyce put it this way: “Mr. Duffy lived a short distance from his body”. Which is a poetic way of saying that poor Mr. Duffy was disconnected from the direct experience of life pulsating in his body and the world around him. He probably missed the aroma of freshly baked bread as he walked past a bakery. He would not pause to enjoy the warm wind of spring tugging at his coat or get curious about the sadness in his neighbour’s eyes.
Where are you when you are not present to yourself? And when you have busied yourself with so many cares, what have you gained if you have lost yourself? Urgently asks Thomas A Kempis in his manual for mediaeval monks. Who or what is he referring to when he asks where You are when you are not present to Yourself? He is pointing at the Greater You which spiritual teachers and psychologists struggled to name. Take your pick, all these names refer to the same aspect of your being:
Higher Self
Consciousness
Self-Observing Ego
The Watcher
Wise Mind
The Buddha Nature
The Christ Nature
Presence
Self-In-Presence
Awakened Consciousness
Enlightenment
Sounds intimidating? Indeed. Let’s just stick with calling it the Greater You. The part of you that can step back and say: What the *&%$? I need to get some rest, so I don’t blow this presentation tomorrow, but my mind just won’t shut up and let me sleep. This is the Greater You talking, even though the language is not polite.
What to do? Trying to quiet the mind is like trying to put a plastic sheet over the ocean to stop it from waving. Minds do what they are supposed to do: generate thoughts. It’s not even you (The Greater You) who is producing all this chatter; it’s just your mind running its programs. What you can control is your attention. Like a beam of light from a flashlight when you are walking through a dark alley, you can point your attention and illuminate what you want to see. So you can politely say to your mind: “not interested in your story, not now, get back to you later”; and put your attention elsewhere: your breath, your body, the poem you are writing, the cake you are assembling, the chirping of crickets, the tartness of lemon sorbet melting on your tongue. It takes practice. A lot of practice. Every day. But eventually You start controlling where your attention and energy go.
Remember Mr. Purdy who lived a short distance from his body? You can choose a different path and live a short distance from your mind. The space you will be inhabiting has power and mystery and grace. The portal to this space is through paying attention to your experience in the present. You can call it, as Eckhart Tolle does, “the power of Now”, or you can call it mindfulness. But whatever you call it is not important. You have to do it. That’s how you walk through that portal.
And here is where the practice of keeping a Joy Catcher Journal comes in. It’s yet another tool; like practicing meditation, doing yoga or keeping a gratitude journal. So, enough talking and let’s get back to doing. Are you feeling some positive emotion now? Curiosity? Enthusiasm? Relaxation? Longing for a bowl of that soup simmering on the stove? Allow yourself to watch and enjoy the feeling. Take in the fullness of this moment and savour it. Then reach for your phone and take a photo. If you want a refresher on what to do next go back to How to Get Started and Keep Going page.